Oh, Mama...where do I even begin about Japan. What an absolutely wonderfully crazy place. Today was quite the adventure. I spent the entire day exploring the city by myself. I was very proud. Momoko, my homestay friend, wrote me some directions to help me get by, but other than that I was completely on my own! I started out on a mission to a camera store to get a charger for my camera. I misplaced mine, Kathy bought me one in LA as a birthday present, but it had already been opened, and the piece I needed ended up being missing! So...I forked up a ridiculous amount of money, but it was 100% worth it to get my pictures, and I know you'd agree. The language barrier between English and Japanese is an entirely different story than English and Spanish...which is what I have been dealing with for the past month. I had quite the time trying to convey what I needed, but it all worked out!
I hopped back on the subway (the public transportation here is INCREDIBLE...a little ridiculous, but incredible) and headed to the neighborhood of Asakusa! This area is famous for having a lot of Buddhist temples and gardens. They were so beautiful, Mom. I got so overwhelmed inside the major temple (Senso-ji Temple). I had to fight with everything I could not to burst into tears. I lit candles for you and Morgan and asked Buddha to watch over you and keep you at peace. I found a beautiful bronze statue outside the temple in the gardens, and I scattered some of your ashes in the bushes that surrounded it. I was trying to be as covert as possible because I had a feeling that scattering ashes at the temple was frowned upon.
I ate a delicious lunch of curry udon noodles, and then headed to the opposite end of the line on the subway: Shibuya. This area is essentially the Times Square of Tokyo. There is a street corner there where thousands, not exaggerating one bit, of people cross the street at once. It's like a mob. It was actually really cool to see. I explored Shibuya for a while, and later on had a tasty dinner of ramen noodles. You know how I feel about my noodles...I am taking advantage every second I get of real authentic Japanese noodles everywhere.
While I had a great time exploring parts of Tokyo today, I had a really, really rough day. I had a lot of those moments where it feels like the wind is knocked out of me and I'm living in a nightmare...the worst possible nightmare, and I so desperately want to wake up. How can this be real, Mom? How can you be gone? I am in the most extraordinary amount of pain. Every fiber of my being hurts. I feel so lost and so aimless. I'm in this fabulous city, yet part of me couldn't care less. Nothing matters right now. I don't know how to exist in a world where you don't. I am so young, Mom. I am 22 years old. I have my entire life ahead of me, and how am I supposed to do it without you? How do I go on, Mom? I don't even want to go on right now. I am not saying I want to be dead, but I certainly don't want to be here. I don't want this life. I am so blessed to have my dreams of seeing the world come into fruition more and more as the months go by, but it doesn't even matter. I don't know how I'm going to last another 2.5 months away from home. Part of me just wants to give up and go home. I just want to sleep for days and do absolutely nothing but lay in bed, cry, and watch TV, but I don't have that luxury. It seems ridiculous calling that a "luxury" when I am jetsetting around the world, but really that's all I want right now. I am so broken, Mom. I don't even know where to begin to put myself back together.
I hopped back on the subway (the public transportation here is INCREDIBLE...a little ridiculous, but incredible) and headed to the neighborhood of Asakusa! This area is famous for having a lot of Buddhist temples and gardens. They were so beautiful, Mom. I got so overwhelmed inside the major temple (Senso-ji Temple). I had to fight with everything I could not to burst into tears. I lit candles for you and Morgan and asked Buddha to watch over you and keep you at peace. I found a beautiful bronze statue outside the temple in the gardens, and I scattered some of your ashes in the bushes that surrounded it. I was trying to be as covert as possible because I had a feeling that scattering ashes at the temple was frowned upon.
I ate a delicious lunch of curry udon noodles, and then headed to the opposite end of the line on the subway: Shibuya. This area is essentially the Times Square of Tokyo. There is a street corner there where thousands, not exaggerating one bit, of people cross the street at once. It's like a mob. It was actually really cool to see. I explored Shibuya for a while, and later on had a tasty dinner of ramen noodles. You know how I feel about my noodles...I am taking advantage every second I get of real authentic Japanese noodles everywhere.
While I had a great time exploring parts of Tokyo today, I had a really, really rough day. I had a lot of those moments where it feels like the wind is knocked out of me and I'm living in a nightmare...the worst possible nightmare, and I so desperately want to wake up. How can this be real, Mom? How can you be gone? I am in the most extraordinary amount of pain. Every fiber of my being hurts. I feel so lost and so aimless. I'm in this fabulous city, yet part of me couldn't care less. Nothing matters right now. I don't know how to exist in a world where you don't. I am so young, Mom. I am 22 years old. I have my entire life ahead of me, and how am I supposed to do it without you? How do I go on, Mom? I don't even want to go on right now. I am not saying I want to be dead, but I certainly don't want to be here. I don't want this life. I am so blessed to have my dreams of seeing the world come into fruition more and more as the months go by, but it doesn't even matter. I don't know how I'm going to last another 2.5 months away from home. Part of me just wants to give up and go home. I just want to sleep for days and do absolutely nothing but lay in bed, cry, and watch TV, but I don't have that luxury. It seems ridiculous calling that a "luxury" when I am jetsetting around the world, but really that's all I want right now. I am so broken, Mom. I don't even know where to begin to put myself back together.
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