Recap of San Francisco & Los Angeles

Hi Mom. Sorry I've been really bad at writing you. I've just been so exhausted at the end of every day that it's been hard to sit down and write. I wanted to fill you in on how my time in San Francisco & LA has been.

I had a great time with Dad, Aunt Muffy, Uncle David, Charlie, and Annie in San Francisco. We went out to eat at all of my favorite San Fran restaurants: Thai, Chinese, etc. Aunt Muffy took me to get a Chinese massage...which I think in most places would result with a charge in assault. Wow, they beat me up! It was good though. I felt great afterward. Charlie took Dad and I out for an In-N-Out burger, which was fast food greasy deliciousness. We don't have In-N-Out in the Midwest. Aunt Muffy made a special birthday dinner for me and Annie. It was very nice and very tasty. I had a huge breakdown right after we took Dad to the airport. Aunt Muffy came and slept with me so that I wouldn't be alone. It was exactly what you would have done. She just held me as I cried and promised that she would always be there for me. I know she's not you, Mom, but she's the closest thing I have to a mom now, and I know you know that she'll always take good care of me.

After legitimately almost missing my flight (I got to the gate right before they shut the door), I was off to my next adventure: Los Angeles. A woman from my Enrichment Voyage who I became rather close with, Kathy,  picked me up from the airport and has let me stay at her house. Yesterday she took me around San Pedro, the town she lives in. It's a beautiful little fisherman's village, and also the port for Los Angeles. She made a tasty dinner of fish and cous cous, and we watched Chicken Little, which was absolutely adorable, and just perfect for the night.

Today we drove into Hollywood! It was nothing like I imagined it would be to be honest. It was a lot less glamorous. Once we got there, we met up with Lisa, another woman from the Enrichment Voyage. We walked along Hollywood Blvd, and I saw the walk of stars. We went to see the famous Chinese theatre (I'm blanking on the name...it's really famous) where all of the stars put their handprints in the cement. I also got to see the Hollywood sign from a distance. We ate a fabulous lunch at a Mexican restaurant. It was just perfect, as I love Mexican food, and I doubt I will be getting any in Asia for the next 3 months. After a nice day in the city, we headed back out to San Pedro.

I can't believe I'm leaving for Japan tomorrow. This is so surreal. I'm really starting to freak out, but I know I will be alright. I know you'll give me the strength to get through this, Mom. I have much bigger things to accomplish, and I know you wouldn't want anything getting in the way of that. I'm trying so hard to be strong, Mom. I really am, but it's getting harder with everyday that passes. There are so many things that I want to call you about. There are so many things that I see and want to get for you. The hardest thing has been that the only thing I want when I'm hurting is my mom, and how do I deal with the fact that the reason why I'm hurting is because I can't have my mom? I miss you so much. I love you more than anything in the world.

By the way...even though I'm in California where it is only 9:30pm, in Ohio it is officially my birthday...and my phone is unbearably silent. Why didn't you call and squeal in my ear at midnight? I miss you so much.

Here are some pictures from San Francisco:

Los Angeles

Hi Mama! So sorry I haven't written in a couple days. I wanted to let you know that I have safely arrived in Los Angeles after having a great time in San Francisco. I can barely keep my eyes open (even though it's not even 9:30 yet here), so I will update about the rest of my time in NorCal and my first day in SoCal tomorrow. In the morning we are heading into Hollywood to do touristy things! I'm so excited! It'll be a fun day! I miss you so much, Mom. The last few days have been really, really hard. Bring me some comfort tonight.

Dear Morgan

Hi Mama. I decided to keep my note short to you tonight. I have dedicated my travel blog to be letters to you, but tonight I need to write a letter to my beautiful friend Morgan. I can't believe it's already been a month today, Mom. I don't understand how time has gone that fast. I feel as if time is suspended around me, but as I've mentioned before the world still keeps turning even though you're gone. I'm trying to be strong for you. I love you so much.

Dear Morgan,

Just as I am in disbelief of it being a month since my mom left us, it is hard for me to believe it has been almost six months since you left us. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about your smiling face. You have been especially on my mind today, as I know The Studio did something special to celebrate your life at the recital tonight. I wish more than anything that I could have been there..

I have learned these past several months how fleeting life is--what a gift it is, and how important it is to celebrate every moment we have. In a moment everything can change. You certainly lived your life that way, Morgan. I never saw you without a smile on your face. You truly appreciated every day of life you had. There wasn't one of us who didn't learn from you what it meant to truly live and love.

I have found myself struggling to understand why you were taken so soon. I have found myself struggling to understand why my mom was taken as well. I know we lost touch since I went to college, but we used to be very close. You were always the glue that held everyone together. You were the ray of sunshine in everyone's day. You were there for me during what was at that point the hardest time of my life. You always inspired me to be a better dancer and a better person. Nothing could describe your grace and beauty, Morgan. Watching you perform, whether on stage or simply in class, was like watching an angel on Earth...which I think we have all discovered, is what you truly were.

I carry you with me every day, Morgan. I feel your presence and I use it to strive to be better in my life. I have made sure to take a moment in every place of worship I've visited during my travels thus far to light a candle when I can, or at least have a moment of thought, reflection, and prayer for you.

You are so loved, beautiful girl. You touched so many lives. Keep shining down on us...I know there are a lot of people who could use your warmth and love. I miss you everyday, and I hope I'm making you proud.

So much love,
Alissa

Burney, California

Hi, Mama. Sorry I haven't written in a few days. I've been busy...which I suppose is a good thing. The day I flew from Costa Rica to San Francisco, I had a 6.5 hour layover in Denver, Colorado. I was pleasantly surprised with a phone call from Pat Goodrich, telling me that she was at the airport and was going to take me to lunch during my layover! It was so nice to see one of your best friends and get to talk about my travels and about you. She misses you a whole lot. I think everyone does. Pat and I said our goodbyes, and 18 hours from when I first left my hostel in Costa Rica, I finally arrived in San Francisco!

I spent the day in San Fran and spent time with the cousins. The next morning, Annie took me to her high school and gave me a tour. It was a really nice campus. That night we all headed back to the airport to pick up Daddy! I was so happy to see him! It had been hard being away from him for almost 3 weeks immediately following your funeral. I know it was hard for him too. We all went out to dinner at my favorite Thai restaurant in San Francisco, and then the next morning we headed north to Burney!

We have been up in Burney for the past three days. It's been surprisingly cold for the season up here. Today it was 43 degrees! It has rained everyday that we have been here as well. I suppose I should enjoy the cool weather while I can as it will be very hot in the Philippines.

This morning we went to Burney Falls, which is a beautiful waterfall in a state park here in Burney, California. Dad and I spread some of your ashes in the basin of the falls, as we knew how much you loved waterfalls. It was a beautiful moment, and I know you appreciated it. I had a harder time spreading your ashes today than I did on the ship. I suppose that is because I couldn't access my emotions back then and lately I've been a complete emotional wreck. I've really, really been struggling these past few days. There has been a lot of crying. I think it is because here I am not removed from my life. Visiting family in California is something I do regularly, whereas exploring new parts of the world is not. It's hard for me to watch life go on without you. That's something that I am really going to have to get used to. The world isn't going to stop turning because your gone. Life goes on, and eventually I am going to have to too. For now, though, I am not ready.

We got some really nice pictures at the falls today. As much as I know you were there with us, I wish your beautiful face was in the pictures too. I love you so much, Mom.

Pictures from Manta, San Lorenzo, & the Pacoche Forest, Ecuador

Pictures from the Embera Indian Village in Panama